Sometimes, letting go doesn’t happen all at once – it comes in layers.
This summer took me through three very distinct phases:
learning to be alone, letting go of my ex-partner once and for all,
and the painful yet liberating confrontation with my mirror.
What started as a period of mere survival became an unexpected journey into freedom.
Part 1 – The Story of the Three Phases
When this summer began, I knew it wouldn’t be a holiday.
I felt deep down that it would be hard – not just because of the circumstances,
but because I would be forced to face parts of myself I had long avoided.
Phase 1 – Being alone
The first weeks were tough. Waking up in my bus – my only home – with no luxury, no comfort.
Back to basics.
Making coffee on a small stove, watching the sun rise over the campsite,
and sitting with a silence that was both oppressive and healing.
It was learning to handle solitude without running from it.
Old traumas surfaced, past wounds reopened,
but with them came the certainty that I could face them.
Phase 2 – Letting go of my ex
After those first weeks, the influence of my ex-partner began to fade.
Not because she had completely left my thoughts,
but because I had decided to place myself at the center of my own life.
Every attempt she made to push me further away actually brought me closer to myself.
And strangely, I felt grateful for that.
Without that constant pressure, I might never have chosen my own path with such clarity.
And when she suddenly appeared here to provoke me,
I realized… I had already let her go.
The fact that it coincided with my departure to Spain
was like a quiet confirmation: I was ready.
Phase 3 – Confrontation with my mirror
Returning to the campsite, just a day after her departure,
the messages from him began to arrive.
He – my mirror.
The person who, without meaning to, had touched the most sensitive places in me,
sometimes more painfully than anyone else.
His words were harsh, accusatory, sometimes filled with hate.
Once, they would have broken me completely.
But this time… I stayed standing.
I felt that something had shifted.
That the unconscious grip he had on me was gone.
Yes, it still hurt – but it no longer shattered me.
And there, in the simplicity of my bus life, I understood:
letting go can also mean continuing to love someone,
but never again at the cost of losing yourself.
Part 2 – Psychological and Spiritual Reflection
Emotional Independence
The ability to feel love and connection
without making your own worth dependent on another person.
It requires practice, repetition, and often brutal honesty with yourself.
Mirror Relationships
People who, unconsciously, activate your deepest wounds
to show you what still needs healing.
They are not enemies – they are catalysts.
Post-Traumatic Growth
When hardships don’t break you, but make you stronger and wiser.
The path is hard, but it strengthens your inner foundation.
Spiritual Reference – Letting Go as an Act of Love
In many traditions, letting go is not seen as abandonment
but as the ultimate form of trust.
As in Buddhism: attachment leads to suffering,
but love without attachment brings freedom.
Or in Christianity: “Greater love has no one than this:
to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” –
which can also mean giving someone their freedom,
even if it breaks your own heart.
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